Tragic Day

It's taken me nearly a week to muster up the strength to write this post...but I feel like I need to. It was painful, but I feel that maybe there is a lesson here that I need to remember in the future. Last Sunday evening Blair and Shanna and their family arrived at our house to spend the week with us. We were so excited and had plans for each day! On Monday morning we woke up and decided to take the kids to Bridal Vail Falls for a picnic and hike. Jake headed off to work and the rest of us packed up a lunch and headed out.
When we arrived at Nunns Park we decided to hike to the Falls first and come back to eat. We unpacked strollers and scooters and headed up the path. We were stopping to take pictures and check out the bridges...we all noticed that the water was higher and stronger than we remembered in the past.
Right as we were about to reach the Falls tradegy struck. Shanna was up the path the highest with all the kids and Blair and I were a little slower, but heading up. We all suddenly saw people running and screaming, "Baby in the water!! Baby in the water!!" Panic struck immediately and Blair and I turned and ran down the path looking for a way to see in the river. I hit the clearing first and saw the child floating down the river...I started screaming at the top of my lungs that I saw her...somebody help! I was frozen. Next thing I saw was Blair jump in the river in front of me.
Relief and then terror came within a split second. I couldn't see Shanna and realized that she didn't know Blair was in there. I ran up the path screaming to her, "Can Blair swim?? Can he swim well??" I screamed to her that Blair had jumped in and we traded posts...I took the kids and she ran after Blair. I immediatley felt that I had put my brother's life in danger and can't describe how that felt. I began gathering up the kids...holding on to each one of them and started back down the path. Within a minute we saw Blair (soaking wet) and Shanna coming up the path towards us...tears began streaming down my face and I ran and hugged him.
He told me that when he jumped in he felt her and tried to grab her, but the swift water had ripped her from his hands...he tried to reach her again, but she drifted too far too quickly. He had to find a way out of the water and he used large tree roots growing into the river to get out. He was devastated.
The devastation hit us all hard as we left the path and saw search and rescue, firemen, police and helicopters searching for her. Nobody knows that Blair jumped in there...he wasn't on the news, he didn't stop to tell anybody, he just did his best and quietly moved on.
We later found out that she was found a mile down river stuck under a rock. She was flown to Primary Children's Medical Center and passed away the next day.
Blair swears that he didn't hear me scream for someone to jump in and save her...he says he was throwing clothes, a backpack and flip flops off as he ran down the path because he knew he had to try to save her. My little brother is a hero in my eyes and I have never been prouder to be his sister. I hope he never again doubts his strength and courage...I know I won't.
As for me, it is humbling and frightening to me that I didn't do more in that situation. Jake says it just teaches me my limits...I wish I had been stronger. All I know for sure, is that I am hugging my kids a little tighter and keeping them a little closer. My prayers go out to that sweet girl's family and I hope they can find strength. She was 8 or 9 years old...very close to my Karlee...I can't describe how difficult it has been to try to get this out of my mind. It seems to be haunting me still and I hope that I never have to witness something that difficult again.